07 April 2014

So Over Frozen

After disappointing my daughters this morning and earning the title Meanest Mom Ever for the umpteenth time by not agreeing to buy a Do You Want to Build a Snowman ringtone for my phone, that song was -- predictably -- stuck in my head.  I even made a graphic for it:



It stuck in my head so badly, that I finally just gave in and came up with an impromptu version of my own.  

Perhaps a few of you can relate.

So here, for your enjoyment,  is an ode to my daughters, who are making me koo-koo-for-cocoa-puffs with their endless, infernal repetitions of those damn catchy Frozen numbers.

Do You Wanna Make My Ears Bleed?  

(Sing along…I know you know the tune.)

Me:
Child?

(Said child, rapping on my skull: Rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap)

Do you wanna make my ears bleed?
Come on, admit you do.
I always hear you, everyday
Singing away
It's like you’ve pushed me far
Off the deep end, baby
And now, I’m nuts
I wish you would stop sing-EEEENG

Do you wanna make my ears bleed?
Or maybe make me lose my coo-ool.

My kid:
Go away, Mama
Me:
Would if I could, kid.

Do you wanna make my ears bleed?
Or ride my nerves to shreds
I think lots of silence is overdue
I've started craving
a cell with empty walls—
(Cloistered or padded, Mama?)
I’d like to be a little lonely
In some empty rooms,

Just hearing the hours tick by-
(Tic-Tock, Tic-Tock, Tic-Tock, Tic-Tock, Tic-Tock)

(Orchestral)

My Kid (Knocking)
Mama?

Me:
Please, I know you really love me,
Show me by shutting uh-up.
I say “have mercy” and I’m begging you
I’m always here for you, just close your mouth!
You only have one mother
Don’t make her go insane
What is it gonna be?

Do you wanna make my ears bleed?

* * *

Camera pulls away from a weeping mother…fade to black…aaaaaaand: scene.

* * *

1 comment:

wifemotherexpletive said...

I haven't gotten there yet, but we only just saw it last month... and i can see it coming...